Rolling With the Good Times!!

I've been spending a lot of time alone over the past couple of weeks, but the grind definitely continues!!! I of course make sure to show up to write with my writing partners on Saturdays at a local coffeeshop but its me and my work holding it down more than anything or anybody else. ---- As of late I have been taking stock of all that I have accomplished since April: 3 essays completed and submitted, FULL book manuscript submitted, a book review finalized and submitted, and now I am well into completing the research for two article projects. I still have a YEAR of time to myself (and being out of the classroom) to make miracles happen. So no matter how "behind" I have felt in the past, screw that, I am on a roll!!! Rock on....

Gettin Low Wit It!!

Let's just put it out there, I'm from the dirty south (thus the countless A-town artists) either way its been a few days well close to a week since I posted but I have got some time in. I can't let the grind stop. It hit that low point then bounced back b/c of the work. Then I hit the writing pavement hard by knocking out a book review in virtually no time. Already heard back that'll be published later this year. I'm on a roll...book in, three essays completed, and now a book review. Rock and rolling over here! Sometimes you just have to get out of your own DAMN way in order to make some real progress! Rock on...

Feeling Some Kind of Way....

Writing is a completely isolating process and when you add tenure and personal drive, it becomes a dangerous mix. Even through the many posts over the past few months they have allowed me to more clearly see the ebbs and flows of writing, of emotions, of doubts, of excitement, of successes, and blocks that will invariably arise. There's no need to complain on any of this because I love what I do but today is just one of those days where I feel some kind of way....empty, tired, lonely, bored. Odd it would seem to feel this way after a spectacular writing day previously but such is the life of a writer. Tomorrow will get better -- I hope!

Existing in My Nerdy Bubble!

Yesterday was a pretty constant day. I had a lot of work to do and a lot of play time to get in. I was determined to finish getting through a secondary reading that was not only 2 months overdue at the library but one of the most crucial books for this new project that I needed to read cover to cover. I was really getting into it and then I found myself and then I looked at the clock actually feeling frustrated that I had to stop to the bar to meet friends for drinks and a film afterwards. What a sad life right? Maybe I am a perfectionist with my work or maybe I am becoming a workaholic but what is wrong with pouring into something enjoy! I am sure being unmarried and without kids makes this all the more possible - at least for the moment.  Juggling 3 distinctly different projects at once, I look forward to actualizing how hardwork will some day pay off with options/choices for my future. Rock on!

Putting the Brain Cells to Good Use!!

Today was a good day, no, a great day of productivity! I worked on and off allllll day and I could just feel it flowing. I didn't leave the house all day and pretty much snacked on one meal all day and I kept focus on what I was doing. I started off this morning reading for this book review but then i got lost in the other project that before I knew it it was evening! That is an ideal day of writing, producing, and knowing that the time put in will pay off for a successful future!!! Doing a happy dance over hurrr!

Don't Stop Get It Get It!!!

My blogs have endured quite a lapse in the past crazy week I had, but my work continues on...I worked pretty much everyday last week however it was rough. Early on, I woke up with my right eye jacked up with a sty as I was increasingly unable to open it. Yet, I pressed on. I am juggling three projects one of which is an overdue book review; ughhhhh. Amidst this my computer needed immediate repairs so I reluctantly dropped it off to the apple store and felt myself feeling trapped being without a computer. I much like others could not function without working technology!!! Much to my delight they had it done in an hour but I picked up later in the week when I freed up. All in all the posts might be slow but I keep writing towards a future of choices!!!  Rock on!

Treading Lightly!

Its been a minute since I blogged but over the past week I have worked everyday but Sunday plugging away at different projects. Earlier on the week I found myself saying a lot of, I love my job, and then as the week wore on AND my computer started acting up, the fire was beginning to wane but I pressed on. At this moment I am juggling three different projects if merely to keep my mind and thoughts sharp as I move in out of topics and historical themes. Now that's called multitasking! Right now I am on a deep cultural kick just letting the ideas flow but this past weekend I could only chuckle when I went on an extended bike ride -- somehow everything seemed possible from my green baby!

Everything IS Possible!

When you are writing it always, at least in my mind, seems endless! You write, think, eat, think, write, and stop for one day only to resume on the next. That has been been the story of my life for A LOT of years but somehow now it all seems possible -- whatever that I set my mind to and most of all whatever I do to sit my ass down and get those ideas on paper. Over the past three days I have finished one essay (woo that was the hardest ever b/c I am super duper tired!) and then I cut down an essay today and got that submitted a month earlier than the deadline. So I am happy!!!!! I have a gazillion other writing deadlines to accomplish over the summer and the year off (still jumping for joy on that!) but it is all apart of the plan! Rock on...

Every Word Will Be Alright!

My frustration with this undone and overdue essay continues yet seeing the finish line in sight I know all will be alright. I just have to trust the process and let the words and sentences flow within my mere 5000 word limit. Funny I complained at how many pages I had to write and now I feel like I won't have enough space to say what I want. Go figure. What is luring me on though is that i will and have to finish this essay TODAY!!! Then I can take a day off for fun tomorrow and move on to another project later this week! Anybody that thinks writers, scholars, and historians just sit around smoking pipes merely in their heads thinking through ideas is out of their minds, We work in a variety of ways!!!!

Fighting to the Finish Line!

As I sit here eating a bowl of tofu with red peppers i just keep thinking, I want to be done with this essay ASAP!!!! No ifs and or buts!!!! I am just sick of it and my inability to just chill, rest, play, and do nothing if i so choose. Because of my frustrations i took a 3 hour nap this afternoon. Only to drag out of the bed and head out to the dining room table and write again! Every word i wrote I kept saying to myself, "I want to be done!" It wouldn't be so bad if I had had like week off between submitting the book and moving on to another project like normal people, but the increase of opportunities to submit essays/articles means the fewer weeks i get to do absolutely nothing. Such is my joyous life as a writer/scholar :)  Grateful but tired!

The Cave of Isolation

Once again I am back in the writing lab. Ok well rather my apartment holed up yet again writing writing writing. If someone was really keeping up with my posts they would note my last mention that the book is in and I am supposed to be waiting....well I'm back in the pjs writing another essay due yesterday in fact. It can really be tough juggling projects but I just keep telling myself that more you do on the front end the greater the options in the near and far future about where I want to be in my career. So it definitely is a good problem to keep gaining chances to get your name in print. The other upside is it forces this writing everyday bit whether you like or not. Today I slept in and watched tv and got back to it mid morning. Thus far I have logged 5 hours...not bad BUT I still have 15 more pages to write to completion. Gotta just keep on keeping on....

'Tis the Writing Season

Today I am at work on yet another writing project. This one was originally due in May and due to other things I had them push it back until June 7th. Why?!?? I should have been smarter and asked for more time but given the long list of writing I have ahead of me this summer I figured let me knock it out. However, as I pushed hard to get words and sentences on paper I realized this is not going to be done by Friday and then I said f*ck it they will get it when I say its ready. Alas, the joys of writing....

Extended Play Time!

I am always guilty of working hard and rarely taking time off but with summer here and living in a biking city, i just decided let me take a quick break to play and ..... well that turned into several days of play time! :) I missed the blogging but playtime took precedence. ---- Good news that the hardwork IS paying off: I won a small fellowship to do research at a university and I got the book submitted (emailed/mailed) to the editor on Monday!!! Now I wait but while doing so I can freely get cracking on other projects I am interested in. I did get in some writing yesterday Tuesday. Lesson at hand, sometimes we have to just be a bit more gentle with ourselves and what we have accomplished!!!

Breaking for A Bit of Sanity

I am NOT a machine!!! Just like many others I have good intentions, lofty goals, and crazy like ambition. However the unending deadlines make any type of rest/relaxation difficult and almost impossible. I got the book intro done and sent off yesterday (Tuesday), YAY! I had a celebratory toast with friends and took the day off by watching some tv and getting some time outside - I was holding on hard to the illusion of freedom to just soak in the sun. ----Then I wake up today and its back to the mode of what-do-I-owe-somebody....I view it sort of like money - if you are late you run a serious risk with future problems. I can't stand the idea of owing anyone at all. So where I stand in the peaks and valleys of writing is having an essay due next friday, and an edited volume due next month that thankfully is already done! I won't go down the list of the mountain of other things on my desk waiting for me. I don't know what the future holds with this incredible amount of work I am tackling so I will have to wait and see what is in store....

Writing for Tomorrow...

For the past five days I have voluntarily locked myself in my apartment and got down deep with this inro, truly overdue!!! I decided to not let myself blog until I could really show for my time...so alas, I logged an estimated 1,369 mins!!! Yup that's over 22 hours of writing, thinking, editing, and revising!!!! That may not seem like much to many writers but some people don't even average that in a week or even a month's time. --- How did I do it? I pretty much stayed in pajamas all weekend - of course making time to shower - and just ate whatever i had on hand already prepared, watched mindless tv, and moved from the dining room, office, and constantly back to the couch making miracles happen. I passed up concerts, festivals, bike rides and pretty much all human contact outside the phone. It was incredibly painful, isolating, tiring, and yet inspring to see how I could accomplish my goal to have this intro prettttty much DONE!! Printed out my last version to edit tomorrow morning and then I think I gotta let this baby on to the editor so I can prepare to shine in the near and far future....Lesson learned through it all, GO HARD WRITING or get out the way so others can leave their lasting mark!!!!!

Moving With the Writing Tidal Wave

Yesterday I was in a total writing groove - myyyy goodness!! For the first time I felt feelings of excitement, and drive, and purpose with the writing. Who knows what was in my green tea but it was a constant outpour of ideas and just feeling like I can do it!!!! Maybe its irritation with having something undone but I would attribute it to really wanting to finish a preset deadline by getting this intro out of my hands and back to my editor so that I am no longer the hold up in this mysterious process of writing an academic book. It was less about pages but more about solidifying ideas and being more clear and direct with what the book will do so i feel accomplished in the many hours I spent working on my craft....My reward was sighhhh, more tv! :)

Cycling Onward

Today was one of those days where I wanted to do everything but write!! I have been finding myself wandering around my apartment finding any and every task/chore to handle before i actually sit down to write. I was  supposed to have met up with a friend at the coffeeshop to write and seeing that i did not want to drive anywhere I was able to get that rescheduled. I also made different calls I suppose to allow myself to stay distracted from undone book intro. Then there came a point where I felt down right guilty that a colleague took time out of their schedule to read my work-in-progress and yet here I am avoiding it. So finally i said, damnit quit being lazy and distracted and get to work! I permitted myself to lounge on the couch while watching tv (with the sound off) and handle this editing; that seemed to work because before I knew it I had gotten in my base of 3 hours of writing, thinking, and rewriting!!! No rewards in sight just yet - well maybe an episode of Da Vinci's Demons - but I plan to stay in the house and off the grid for the next two days tackling this intro!  Until then I'm taking it back to my southern roots to heed some sage advice ...

Passing Guilt

I had not blogged in the past three days and sadly I found myself beginning to beat myself up.  Then I realized why I am getting upset when 1) Sunday I worked for 3 hours writing and editing AND that day is my normal lazy day off and 2) I was partially rewarding myself on Monday for getting my intro sent to one colleague who gave feedback the next day which I turned around and sent it to another colleague who sent comments the same day. This really really is my first week with sabbatical in full effect without any commitments on my calendar except for fun so it is what it is, summer!!!! My list of writing deadlines continue to grow as the days pass on...however all will be ok!!!

Rolling With The Interruptive Punches

Today began with what I call a start-stop. I went out last night and was truly dragging to get out of the bed this morning - at one point I laid there thinking why can't I just go play without the burden of work!? I had a couple meetings today so I figured I would get in about 30 mins of writing before starting my day. Thennnnn the phone rang and the writing stopped....note to self to turn all phones OFF when in writing mode! After my meetings sadly I was feeling sleepy from the food but I told myself, just do an hour and see what happens. So thankfully I got in a total of 3 good hours of editing, cutting, and more revising. Then that feeling came over me where I knew that the draft of my book intro was as good as it could get it and I became quite sickened looking at it any further. So I sent it off to a colleague for help and now I have the rest of the day...to sleep, play, and be mindless!

Paper Cuts...

Today I got up even earlier to write (7AM), must be the feeling of freedom that I am wearing tightly these days....about an hour later I got a call that cut deeply... a close friend from grad school called to inform me that my adviser/mentor/biggest advocate from graduate school made his transition!!! It was hard to hear and even harder to get back to the writing soon after, but I pressed forward hearing him in my ear asking me if what I was doing for the uplift of people.  In the often chaotic uncertainty of university of jobs, anxiety over tenure, chasing permanency with tenure,  LIFE/DEATH happens!! No matter when or how you can never prepare yourself. How do you reckon with the first loss of a mentor??? You are never trained for that but I liken it to a paper cut where it seems small (not being the loss of a parent or sibling) yet the pain is enduring, making it difficult to forget! As my aunt always says to me, the only constant in life is change!!! ---- I remain consistent with pressing forward I wrote a total of 4 hours today knowing that I do this work not for myself but the living and the those on the other side always looming close guiding me forward.

Caught in the Rat Race!

Yesterday my writing took a complete hit given my last round of graduation chaos. The university I am at it seems like a week long web of events masses of us run to and from keeping our calendars and the time always in mind. Shifting between crowds of administrators, parents, and students, when I was able to grab a free second to think I found myself daydreaming . . . i could have been home writing. -----In the illusive minds of students and parents they believe that teaching really matters but it is just busy work we are expected to perform while being expected to keep research always central in our lives. I digress but when it was done I spent 3 hours socializing and never once sat down to feed the writing machine.  No bike ride either...:/

Running to Writing Freedom!

Even though my leave is in full effect, today was my last day of being asked to show up on campus. I got up early - more from the sheer anxiety of it all - to work on a graduation speech I was giving. So I was productive on and off all day but not with my actual work (books, articles, you know the "real tenure stuf). I ended up putting in close to 3 hours of writing and editing so I am proud b/c in the end it went great!! The speech went over great extremely well (parents, students and colleagues all came up to thank me for my words). Afterwards I grabbed a quick sandwich and then bailed out and yelled (to myself) I's free, I's free...

Got to Get Some Writing Into My Life!

Today I felt more alert and excited to get to work. I popped up early and was at the dining room table with a print out of the intro working by 8:30am! With a mug of peppermint tea I somehow felt more empowered with the writing and the revising than usual. As I lingered over sentences seeing the intro get much stronger, I keep thinking as long as I get in 1-2 hours a day of writing that will give a nice weekly total. Gotta get that writing not only into my life but a central part!!!  Then the bell went off and an email came through with copyedits for another essay I finished a month and 1/2 ago. Alas, the work never ceases. Amidst all of this, I have one more speech to give on campus tomorrow and then I am officially free of these obligatory campus/service duties until Fall 2014.....  This being the second day of my sabbatical, my reward was another bike ride AND a free blues concert!

Jamming With Art In Mind

I finally dragged around the house (after watching tv for hours, shopping online, and going back and forth reading news and on that ever distracting site called Facebook) and then sat down (around noon) to do some work. Before sitting down I lit some incense then turned on the jazz cable station. As I sat down "Art Taylor" was playing and I could only chuckle that I here I am hoping to start re-creating my own "art" through my writing and he is playing....cheesy I know... I am looking to finish the intro to my book and get it back to the editor by the end of the month so I have to work to do! I made major edits rewriting, rethinking and moving sentences around through 7 pages... the groove is slowly rolling  and as Art's song "Move" played on I began to flow with ideas. Once deeper into the writing I had this anxious feeling that I needed to be somewhere (being bound to my calendar during the normal work week) and then I quickly calmed myself down to reality of freedom and became ever grateful for the uninterrupted time. A couple hours later I felt the intro coming alive and then called it quits around 2pm only b/c I found myself too distracted wanting to get outside and play.   ----- With the first day of work done, I may go hop on the bike for an sunny afternoon ride. :)

Ease on Down!

With grades submitted and the "leave" (a year on faculty sabbatical from my univ job) officially in motion now the real work begins.  As I taught my last classes, interacted with students and faculty for final end of year meals and celebrations, I found myself constantly thinking- --- will I really be able to show for my uninterrupted time?  In prep for the time off I consulted with colleagues and mentors as I gleaned insight from their varied experiences, but my path will of course curve in rather interesting, exciting, and even challenging ways to set me up for the future! So over the next year I will chart that golden writing road to show how I attempted to navigate this unfamiliar territory. Taking a cue from the "Wiz" here's to easing on down the road!